Monday, April 1, 2013

Guess who's back....

So I realize it has been quite some time since I have even looked at this blog, let alone posted on it (over a year to be exact).... but I am back. For some reason, I have ended up here tonight after so long, and I am not really sure how.

Lately I have been feeling a little lot drained. I have been drained from the amount of schoolwork I have had this semester, the conflict between wanting school to end and not being ready to part from friends/college life for good, the anticipation for a new season of life, and the lack of time spent with my Savior. Today I have realized how much these things are affecting me and how earnestly I have tried to fix/endure them by myself. Instead of running to the Lord, I have been running from him. I have come up with a million excuses and have allowed my busy schedule to run me down and bring self-pity. And I am exhausted.

On this Easter Sunday, I have realized who I have been relying on and why it is getting me nowhere. When I rely on myself, it only brings exhaustion and defeat. But praise God for his grace that never runs out and can never be defeated. Today I am reminded that God gave his son as a sacrifice for me and that I am not my own. Jesus died for me because of his grace and not because of anything I did or will ever do. In this grace, I can rest. Even when I am drained by the troubles of this world, I can find rest and peace in him.

I think the reason I ended up here again tonight is because it is a place where I feel as if I can speak what is on my heart. For me, that is not always an easy thing to do, but for some reason, writing on this blog always helped me to do that. With that being said, my second to last semester of college has proven to be extremely time consuming, so I probably will not be here as much as I'd like, but it does feel good to be back.